Lumen Café concert hall, Budapest
2018. 8 March 2018.
Lumen Women women’s day performance evening
10 minutes
The performance was the closing event of our International Women’s Day evening LUMEN WOMEN, where several female performers performed at the Lumen concert hall in Budapest.
Our performance aimed to draw attention to misogyny in our everyday lives, and wanted to draw attention to the trivialised jokes that normalise misogyny in society and the lack of feminist unity and resistance that is unable to put a stop to it.
Three performers and a visual artist worked on stage.
The ceremony was hosted by the President of the F.M.U. (performer 1). She goes on stage and starts to dress (so the women performers do not undress, never more!). One after the other, she puts on a work dress, a nurse’s dress, a kitchen dress, and then a vest embroidered with Hungarian folk art ornaments. She puts on a furry Russian usanka and orange-peel glasses, then an accordion in her hand.
A man (performer 2) reading dozens of misogynistic jokes downloaded from the internet in a few minutes. A woman (performer 3) holding loaded shopping bags and a protest sign with no inscription on it (she had no time to write what she is protesting against?), which she tries to transfer from one shoulder to the other while trying to hold the bags as well. Slow motion. It always starts all over again.
As the visual artist loops her animation, we see a female figure carrying a bag, dragging her ever-larger calf on the ground as it turns into a scrotum. It always starts all over again.
The introductory text is played and then the reward concert begins. As the visual artist loops his animation, we see a female figure carrying a bag, dragging her ever-larger calf on the ground as it turns into a scrotum. It always starts all over again.
The introductory text is played and then the reward concert begins. The male performer reads the misogynistic jokes, his deep voice providing the lower register, while the female performer improvises on accordion and sings into the microphone. The male voice gets louder and louder, competing with each other to be heard. It becomes an unbearable din of battle that ends abruptly.
Performer 1.:
Introductory text, after dressing a small sweety hit fragment is played as a sound signal, and:
Okay. So the revolution is cancelled. We don’t have time.
We spend 27 hours a week cooking, baking, shopping, cleaning, washing up, tidying up. 16 hours per child on education. For those of us with more than one child, that’s how it was.
40 to 50 hours of money-earning activities, which adds up to about sixty to seventy percent of men’s wages. That’s probably enough for food, clothes, heating, water and gas bills, maybe phone bills, rent is not sure, so we need someone to help. Daddy, husband, lover. No holiday for sure. Especially if you’re raising your child alone. Children!
In the rest of the time – 50-60 hours a week – we prepare for our jobs, study, improve ourselves and our computer skills (mandatory over 40!) to stay ahead of the competition, become diversity experts, educate ourselves, beautify ourselves, keep an eye on cosmetic trends, shop, entertain and amuse ourselves, engage in public speaking, attend parent-teacher conferences and some sleep.
Oh, and don’t forget the gynaecologist, dentist and hairdresser.
And Duolingo, 10 minutes a day of English and German. You can do that on the toilet.
So, my fellow multifunctional Swiss Army knife women!
Here are the results: the votes show that the majority of the voters (61%) are satisfied with their situation. Let’s applaud the winners!
Abstaining 27%, they are still a little shy to express what they think about their lives. Let’s give them a round of applause and encourage them!
12% are debating what our most important issue is. They think we should fight for the rights of trans people because no one supports them. And besides, it’s becoming common knowledge that heterosexual white women hate them the most. The bidding for miserable queue up to date. Yes, poor things.
The remaining 0.00001% disagree with quantitative democracy and voting, you stuck imperialist-hating revolutionaries, they all fight by themselves as best as they can.
So I admit my problematic vision, and now I am dissolving what I believe to be a revolutionary institution, the Feminist Mothers’ Association.
I know that my fellow esoteric women have pointed out that there was an omen of its destruction from the very beginning. How can such a name be given? Mother of God!!!!
I am sorry if there are any of you who would be disappointed. Dues payments have not been made yet anyway, so we are still on time. I trust that life will soon carry you on to more useful things!
Thank you for coming to our closing meeting! I wish all of our dear members, supporters and supporters continued success!
Please pick up the snowdrop bouquets and free breast cancer screening coupons donated by Gentleman Clothing Ltd. of Püspökszilágy on International Women’s Day from our volunteers on your way out.
No, we’re just not mad about that either. Our smiles are unwavering, our armpits and legs are evenly shaved, our driver’s licenses are valid and our cancer screenings are thankfully negative. So we deserve to celebrate! So welcome to our unforgettable concert! The F.M.U. is hereby disbanded!
The concert starts….